One of the responsibilities of being a groom in a wedding is to round up a group of friends and relations who are willing to don formal attire and stand up next to you in the church during the ceremony. In my case, Fiancee S. and I have agreed on five bridesmaids and groomsmen a piece. My initial list runs as follows:
- L. - a friend since our desks were next to each other in the first grade, and my best man,
- Ja. - a cousin who grew up around the corner from me,
- Jo. - a cousin and other brother to Ja. who also grew up around the corner from me,
- G. - a friend since about the third grade, and a good friend to L. as well, and
- Je. - a friend for the last 12 years or so and housemate for three years.
I chose a couple different methods to approach people. I was able to approach L. and Je. in person. I saw L. during my visit to City B. during late May and early June. Je. only lives about an hour away and I was able to see him in mid-May at his wife's baby shower (his first son was born last month). The remaining three got nice handwritten cards saying that I had some warm memories of my association with them and would be honored if they would participate in my wedding.
Well, it's been about a month since I sent those cards and I haven't heard from everyone yet.
Fiancee S. took the same approach and got responses within a week. The responses ranged from the following exchange:
Friend I.: I would be so VERY honored to be a bridesmaid in your wedding. When I got your note, I cried.
Fiancee S.: I., you're pregnant. You cry at everything.
Friend I.: Yes, but this was a real cry. This was not an AT&T phone commercial cry.
to the following e-mail from my Sister Sa.:
Hi S. I am very happy to be a part of your wedding to my brother. Sa.
(which, if you know how my demonstrative sister can be at times, is almost akin to having her jump up and down and scream "Oh yeaaaaaahhh!!!!!")
When I raised the issue of this disparity in response times with Fiancee S., she suddenly gave me a very wise, knowing look and said "I don't have enough to tell you about the full list of differences between men and women that explain why this is so."
said drgeek
on 2003-07-17 at 11:17 a.m.
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