It's been a relatively quiet few days for me. I did nothing over the weekend. I was a couch potato. I passed up the opportunity to see a live performance of the Cantiones Sacrae by Heinrich Schutz. After feeling sick due to exhaustion earlier in the week, I needed some down time. The only time I pretty much left the apartment was to buy a whole free range chicken to roast. I used a recipe that was a cross between one from The Gourmet Cookbook and one by Tyler Florence from Tyler's Ultimate.
I read an article in the food section of the New York Times that New Yorkers (and other urbanites nationwide) are buy roast chicken to go in record numbers. I don't get that. It's just so easy to make.
Mrs. Geek was off attending to various scrapbooking and other crafty activities for much of the weekend and I was left in control of the remote during my couch surfing sojourn. I watched a variety of televised fare during my "veg fest". One thing that particularly caught my ear was a snippet of the movie version of Tuesdays With Morrie starring Hank Azaria and Jack Lemmon. In it, Mitch Albom asks Morrie something like "aren't you afraid of getting old?" and Morrie replies "Being afraid of getting old implies your life has acquired no meaning."
That phrase resonated with me. I feel that my life is gradually shifting... from an old way of doing things to a new one. As it does so, I often find myself looking back and sensing the growing distance between who I am and who I was. My past feels less and less accessible to me now and I am merely left to ruminate about a very happy present and a future that still seems opaque to me. I want it all to have meaning somehow. I think I need to get the book and if any other parts of it connect with me like that.
That feeling of disconnection with my past was underlined when a friend pointed me at the Intellectual Whores web site. It's actually a site devoted to some theories about why some women look at some men as "just friends" and those men fill the role of friend, when they really would much rather be dating the women in question. I'll leave the nature of those theories as an exercise to the reader. I merely bring it up because the forum pages on the site is full of obsessive testimonials by young men aged 18-25 about how they missed this chance to have sex and that chance to have sex... and instead talked their lady friends through their troubles, to get back together with unscrupulous ex-boyfriends and (the guys') roomates.
I was one of those guys, once upon a time. I've felt their pain. I am not anymore though... that is a chapter in my life that is thankfully over.
on 2005-03-08 at 9:10 p.m.
The Wayback Machine - To Infinity And Beyond