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Riffed by Dr. Geek
from an idea by Vitriol


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you call this a hotel...

I'm writing to you now from our hotel room while I vacation and Mrs. Geek attends a conference, courtesy of the miracle of wireless networking technology.

Given some of our more recent hotel experiences together, Mrs. Geek and I cannot believe that this is a proper hotel. For example:

  • The room we got is in the middle of the second floor and not across the hall from the world's loudest ice machine.
  • Yes, the room has a connecting door to room next to ours... but the floor treatment under the door is carpet, not tile, and any noises in the next room are not immediately reflected into ours.
  • The main desk staff are properly trained, and did manage to get a charge card imprint from me when I checked in. I did not have to go back down the following morning to complete an ordinary transaction.
  • The food in hotel restaurant, while not gourmet cuisine, is edible... and unlike at least one place we stayed, warm, when it arrives on your plate.
  • The toilet in our bathroom has not flooded and overflowed.
  • The edge of the king size mattress of our bed has not broken down, meaning that I do not feel like I am slowly sliding off the bed as I try to fall asleep.
  • The television is in a somewhat tasteful armoire/entertainment unit across from the foot of the bed, not in a niche in the wall 90 degrees from the direction of the foot of the bed.

I mean, how can they stay in business when they get all these things right?

Of course we also got a room where we think we can hear a someone in one of the rooms around us having sex. We turned off the TV and turned out the light last night and realized that we could hear this rhythmic squeaking: squeak-squeak-squeak-squeak-squeak-squeak-short pause. Then the tempo would slightly change, and the pattern would repeat. Mrs. Geek turns to me and says "What's that?", very well knowing what that was. I wiggled my body on the bed a few times, causing it to squeak in a similar fashion. That cracked her up a bit.

Has anyone out there in reader land ever had to call the front desk to change rooms because the couple next door was being a bit too "athletic"?

said drgeek on 2006-03-10 at 6:48 a.m.

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