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Riffed by Dr. Geek
from an idea by Vitriol


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it's Post-Feminist Stripper Pole Barbie!

I was reading something the other day about Anna Nicole Smith or Jenna Jameson where someone was talking about the cliche of strippers trying to marry ultra-wealthy men who are old enough to be their grandfathers. That got me thinking (yet again) about the mixed messages constructed around appearance and beauty that we see in the media today. How do we properly explain these things to young girls? How do we begin some kind of dialogue?

Then it hit me: we need some kind of doll or toy that is able to spout some post-feminist theory at young girls while they are playing together. That, of course, made me speculate on the ideal delivery vehicle. What could be used to seed young minds with post-feminist ideas?

Then I had another revelation: who better to do this than Barbie? She's perfect. She's blonde, leggy, and proportioned in a totally unrealistic way already!She's a career girl who's been a doctor, an astronaut, and hell, even a Baywatch babe! She can speak with authority to young girls about the importance of clothes, cleavage, and power of the utterly superficial. Yes, the image formed clearly in my mind: Talking Stripper Pole Barbie!

As I see it, Mattel would sell Barbie in a glittery sequined thong, a set of high heels, and some day glow spandex with a shiny stirpper pole and base that would act as the stage. The stage would double as a CD player, that play that special Stripper Pole Barbie dancing music. This particular Barbie would possess ultra-flexible legs capable of suspending her in numerous positions from the pole. And just think of it: Barbie could talk while hanging upside down in the air! She could explain to girls why this is really empowering!

She could say things like:

  • I think it is really ok to attempt to personify an unrealistic male fantasy in order use sex as a method to control and influence men!
  • Stripping really is a high paying profession that allows me to work my way through college without accumulating large amounts of debt! I really want to be a pediatrician!
  • I am not marginalizing all women by demeaning myself in the eyes of men! I am joining a free and powerful sisterhood operating outside the repressive limitations imposed by a male dominated hierarchy!

Nah... Mattel probably wouldn't go for it. Look what happened when they tried to sell "Lingerie Barbie". Oh well.

said drgeek on 2006-06-27 at 4:26 p.m.

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The Wayback Machine - To Infinity And Beyond

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