Dear Britney,
Hi there, it's just me, your ever loving sexy navel. I thought that since our breasts had been giving a lot of career advice lately (especially Justin's favorite), I'd chime in with my two cents.
I don't mean to criticize all that successful advice from our cleavage, but they seem to have developed inflated egos a while back, and may not be letting you in on a few facts of life. I love them just like I love all our body, but I just thought you might like a slightly different perspective is all.
I've been getting a real good look out at your audience lately, especially since you've taken to wearing lowriders. I'm really glad that there are so many people happy to see us wherever we go. Those 40+ year old guys who come to our shows are a little creepy, but I really just love everyone else.
I'm a little concerned about how we're trying to reach them though. I can see that with our breasts leading the way, we've got the hip young sex kitten thing down cold. That's fine for now, but I'm worried about 10 years from now. Our breasts seem to have a devil-may-care, we'll-live-forever attitude. Me, I'm a little more concerned about our career, long term. I've been talking to some other navels in the business while we've been shmoozing at various functions, and the long term news for being a sex kitten isn't good. Scary stuff out there. Stretch marks. Sagging body parts. Cellulite. I absolutely admire and worship Shania Twain's navel (think we could ever meet her someday?), but, I hear that it's quite a lot of effort for her to look so good in leather pants after having kids.
So maybe we want to consider a modified approach? I know we really dance great and all, but, maybe we want to pay a little more attention to singing. After all, Doris Day's CD catalog still sells very well and she was in her prime when our Mom was growing up. She seemed to get along fine with showing a little rather than a lot, and singing her heart out. I also think that we need to look more at Madonna's career for guidance. She never takes shit from anyone, and always backs up pop culture antics with really solid singing and production. By the time her third album came out, she'd already wow-ed critics with what she'd learned. No disrespect to the Neptunes, but sounding like Michael Jackson and dancing like Janet just seems... a little Mickey Mouse club. We need to set a few musical trends rather than just follow in others footsteps.
Just know that I love you more than anything, Britney dear, and I hope you'll continue to keep your abs oh-so-flat for me.
Your navel. said drgeek
on 2003-02-20 at 2:43 p.m.
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The Wayback Machine - To Infinity And Beyond
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