Among the many other thoughts that run through my head on your average day, I sometimes have an idea for a loser indie comic book. Here's the concept:
The Adventures of Mullet Man and Beehive Boy
The story of a mild-mannered feed distributor who, when the need calls, removes his trusty CAT cap to reveal himself to be Mullet Man, the "business in the front, party in the back" super hero. Together with his sexually ambiguous and gender-confused youthful ward and sidekick, Beehive Boy, they fight to stamp out imported evil and maintain Federal farm feed subsidies.
At the start of this month's issue, we find Mullet Man and Beehive Boy attending that vast gathering of the mulletude called the Sturgis Bike Rally, in Sturgis, South Dakota. Among the bikers and other peace loving citizens attracted to this event, forces of evil are afoot in the person of Ratface Rodney and his gang. We join the action just as Mullet Man discovers that Rodney has taken Beehive Boy prisoner and is planning to do something fiendish with a truck full of Coors Lite:
MM: "Unhand that Silver Bullet, you Verminous Villian!"
RR: "Careful, Mullet Man... *taking out a Zippo lighter* You don't want me to do a Zippo job on poor Beehive Boy. *sniffs* What is that? Extra hold Aqua Net? He ought to barbecue quite nicely!"
BB: "Don't do it, Mullet Man! Don't pay attention to him!!!"
RR: "Shut up, you gender confused twerp! One more high pitched peep out of you, and you'll never watch Priscilla, Queen of the Desert again!"
MM: "Ok, ok Rodney... you've got my attention. What do you want?"
BB: "From you, Mullet Man... nothing! From Sturgis, everything! Half the biker gang thugs from the Midwest are here today. Gambling. Prostitution. Crystal Meth. All will be at the Tesla reunion concert tonight."
MM: "And if something were to happen to the beer..."
RR: "Aha! The brain under that long hair and bangs is not so dim after all. Yes, if something were to happen to the beer... and something were to happen to all those biker gang members... my men would be ready to move in and take over crime across the heart of America!" *diabolical laughter*
Will Ratface Rodney succeed in his evil scheme? Will Mullet Man be able to save Sturgis?? Will Beehive Boy ever see John Waters' Hairspray again???
Tune in next time!!!
on 2003-03-25 at 8:44 p.m.
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