Riffed by Dr. Geek
from an idea by Vitriol


belle de jour
crazed parent
lioness den
mr. nice guy
obvious zombie
true porn clerk stories

a personal ad... then and now

As some of my prior entries seem to hint, I have been known in the past to find a date or two (or five, or 12, or 15) on the Net over the last decade or so. In that time, I've seen my prediction that "the Net will be to the 90's [and the new millenium] what singles bars were to the 70's" largely come true. I've also seen the population of women posting ads on the Net grow from three 22 year old bisexual college coeds who typed IN ALL CAPS (two of whom were actually 15 year old guys who lived in their parents' basements) to a respectable and interesting cross section of society.

As an example, I now reproduce the following excerpt from a personal ad shown to me by a friend on the East Coast (the ad was accompanied by a professional-looking black and white head shot of an attractive woman):

I am: Biracial, half White French Canadian half Black American, world citizen, healthy, in great shape, and happy! - I: Live in Manhattan and have lived and been educated abroad in London, Paris, Brussels and Scandinavia, Bahamas. Write music and sing, signed to a record label, have toured as background singer with major artists. Education: Le Cordon Bleu Paris Ecole and owner of a successful culinary company. I love my life and I am quite confident. My family & friends are paramount. I adore: people with healthy self-confidence whom are authentic & genuine. I'm fascinated by: Science, Physics, NLP, languages,The Financial Times, people with more than 4 words in their vocabulary. (does not include: OK, like, dude or totally) I love: Traveling abroad-le cite du Paris, the Islands, Relais & Chateaux hotels & resto's, flying the Concord,SOHO, scuba & sailing, dining out, the Obake Anthurium flower, brunch in NYC, films, all animals, laughing out loud,the ocean. Music I dig: the Verve remix; John Mayer, French artists, neo-soul, urban alternative, acid jazz bossa & hip-hop, industrial & electronica. I am not amused and recoil in horror: Arrogance, pretentious, uncultured or unkind people, rudeness, vulgarity, drama, baggage, and ESPECIALLY...lima beans (yuk)!

I do like tall men (5'11 and up) Self-confident, razor sharp wit, erudite, intelligence, well travelled a major must! Make me laugh!! Adventurous/worldly, genuinely kind, cool, sexy, have a style that stretches beyond jeans, romantic, classy, yet down to earth, a true individual.. generous, & prosperous. :)

This is precisely the sort of thing that one did not see in the world of Net dating 10+ years ago.

At the same time, reading over this ad elicited interesting emotions in me. Would this be the kind of personal ad that I would want to respond to (if I wasn't seriously involved with Girlfriend S.)? Yes, most definitely. My reactions beyond that vary depending on the person I was in the 90's and the person I am now.

I believe I would have been intimidated by this woman of obvious accomplishment when I was a younger man. My extensive labors in the halls of academia created a certain insecurity in myself... because while I felt that I was doing something important, I wasn't doing variety of things that I would like to be doing. Getting an advanced degree is about specialization, almost to the point of tediousness. This ad speaks to me of a personality that is more the generalist that I always endevor to be, but couldn't at that time. So, I fear that I would be put off by it... because I would ask myself "what could I show this person about myself that would be interesting and complement her life?" It is an interesting statement of who I was at that time that I probably couldn't think of much.

Now... well, I think there still might be a shadow of my former sense of intimidation. On the whole however, I would be far less afraid because I am much more confident in my interactions with the world, where I am in my life, and where I am headed. At the same time, I think I can more carefully recognize the role that chemistry plays in relationships. If the chemistry is right, anything can happen when you are willing and available to the moment. So, maybe I haven't been to Brussels, Paris, or the Scandinavian countries and I'm not a cordon bleu... but I have visited Vienna and Edinburgh, and I can hand toss a white pizza like nobody's business. I'm not so much of a fan of NLP, but I do like languages, physics, science, and non-fiction television. We could at least converse and make it interesting... she and I.

Having that confidence about myself is a good thing. It is a nice feeling.

said drgeek on 2003-04-17 at 6:57 p.m.


The Wayback Machine - To Infinity And Beyond

those first two estates - 2009-02-04 12:58 p.m.
nativity - 2009-02-03 9:28 p.m.
I am with Brahman - 2009-01-28 9:43 p.m.
angry - 2009-01-25 2:58 p.m.
i am - 2009-01-23 8:33 p.m.