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Riffed by Dr. Geek
from an idea by Vitriol


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bad phone services

For some reason, I found myself thinking about that old Psychic Friends Network late night infomercial, hosted by Dionne Warwick. Not willing to leave well enough alone, I then tried to think up a few phone network ideas that were probably kicked around in the "creative bullpen" but rejected for one reason or another. I now place them here for your reading pleasure.

  • The Furry Friends Network - For when you need to talk to an operator named "Bambi", "Thumper", "Kitty", "Foxy", or "Bunny" about what it feels like when your soft, fuzzy, fur rubs up against someone else's soft, fuzzy fur.
  • The Fanfic Fantasy Friends Network - Sometimes everyone needs to talk about that story they wrote and posted to the Net about how Kirk and Spock were gay lovers... or how Willow and Buffy got sweaty between the sheets one night... or how Xena, Hercules, and Gabrielle liked three-way play whenever they got together. Whichever.
  • The Boring Friends Network - Because everyone needs to consider sawing off their own arm out of boredom rather than hang up the phone on a boring, but well meaning friend once in a while.
  • The Buggles Buddies Network - Because we all need to discuss how great the Buggles were... for the five minutes after the premiere of MTV.

said drgeek on 2005-06-08 at 1:53 p.m.

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The Wayback Machine - To Infinity And Beyond

those first two estates - 2009-02-04 12:58 p.m.
nativity - 2009-02-03 9:28 p.m.
I am with Brahman - 2009-01-28 9:43 p.m.
angry - 2009-01-25 2:58 p.m.
i am - 2009-01-23 8:33 p.m.