When it comes to my own fitness goals, it is the female form that inspires me. Even when I look at the packaging of a diet supplement I take, it is the picture of the woman on the front that makes me think "you need to exercise." I sometimes wonder if this is weird.
I think that this is rooted in my adolescence somewhere. I was the shy, geeky kid who was more often than the friend than the date. There is still some part of me that wants to have the visible athleticism that will turn a woman's head by just walking into a room. There is some leftover part of me that wants to be wanted by the "in" crowd, even if there is no in crowd anymore.
It does go a little deeper than that, though. My sense of strength has always come from my intelligence. This is fine, but, I want to feel more connected with my body... and don't. I hope that if I would ever be able to have an abdominal "six pack" I would finally feel powerful and confident in my body. That and maybe learning how to box or something... it seems to be requisite somewhere in the male psyche that a man must be able to feel that he can kick someone else's ass if he needs to. It's not that I would any time soon... or at all... but having the capability seems important to a sense of confidence in my physical form.
So, when I see a very fit woman at the gym, I discreetly observe. I don't know if the women in question notice or not, but, I wouldn't want them to think that I am trying to hit on them. No, watching them is more like appreciating art -- it is about understanding and appreciating effort and discipline that I often find hard to muster.
Of course, things can be taken too far. Fiancee S. and I turned on the TV the other night to discover a "strongest woman" contest won by the good Ms. Jill Mills:
This is conditioning to a point that is much farther than I would go with my own body, and correspondingly I don't like it. I can admire the tremendous effort involved... but it's not for me.
on 2004-02-15 at 11:04 a.m.
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