I took a "forced" vacation day today. I discovered earlier this week that I reached my maximum amount of saved vacation time -- 184 hours (23 days) -- and could save no more without taking some first. I immediately decided to take the day when I heard yesterday that my manager was in the same situation and taking the day.
My friend J. yelled at me about this when I told him about my situation. "You must be dreaming about your work" he said. He also added that he and his wife should kidnap me to go camping for a week this summer. Just them, me, some good campfire cooking, wine, beer, and cigars for a whole week with nothing else to think about. He then asked me when was the last time that I took more than one day off that was not around a holiday. I had to think hard. Mrs. Geek did go to the House Of Mouse last August. Aside from a few days in the Great Northwest, a little time in the Land of Snow and Palms and some time at my folks last Christmas, I haven't had a long vacation since my honeymoon, which is a couple weeks short of two years ago now.
All the talk of vacation made me aware of how burnt out I am. It's been a busy Spring, and J. is right... I haven't had some time to just be at loose ends for quite a while. I see it in how I approach my life... just as an attempt to move from moment to moment, without any sense of any long term goal. I see it in how I interact with Mrs. Geek... often letting fatigue get in the way in a sense of spontenaity and joy. I see in how I work.
I can honestly say, however, that I am not dreaming about work. During the last two months of work on my dissertation, as I was struggling to finish all the ideas in chapter five, I did often dream about my work. I also managed to come up with a few meaningful solutions. I know what that kind of pressure is like... and I am not that far gone. I am nowhere near broken... I am just tired.
Maybe it's time to start thinking about some time off.
on 2006-06-16 at 9:42 p.m.
The Wayback Machine - To Infinity And Beyond